As a twenty something woman, a "millennial" if you will, I am not a stranger to the term "fear of commitment". This is usually used to describe the feeling many of my peers experience when trying to navigate the messy, often confusing, maze that is intimate relationships. This is not a blog post about that kind of commitment. I'm taking this post in another direction, one that will be just as relatable, however.
No, this is not about the fear of committing to others. I'm going to talk about the paralyzing fear we experience over committing to ourselves, committing to our dreams. How often are we told in this world what to think, what to do, how we are to measure our success in life? We are born into a world that has the plans for our lives typed, printed, and laminated before we take our first breaths. We are lead by our guardians, elders, society at large, to fulfill the duties and obligations that were set out before us, before our parents and before theirs. While we strive to live up to these standards in life, we are constantly bombarded with sources telling us why we will never be good enough. We aren't attractive enough, not rich enough, not enough charisma, we don't have the right type of clothing. It's a crippling cycle we can easily find ourselves lost in without a second thought.
You hear of countless people that give up on their passions to live a more predictable, acceptable life that ultimately makes them unhappy. They will often site money or their obligations as reasons for why their dreams are just out of reach. This is always such a saddening thing to hear uttered from a someone's mouth. When we are lucky enough to experience when someone opens up about their true passions in life, there is nothing better. You can practically see and feel the positive energy seeping from their pores as they talk about this subject they adore. It then usually ends with a shrug, a downwards glace, or a list of reasons why this passion is an unrealistic pursuit.
So, why do our dreams seem so far out of reach? We see and hear about people every day that really went for it and found success. Why do our dreams seem so crazy? Have you ever overheard a friend talk about a huge leap of fate they were making in pursuit of their goals? Was your first response joy or fear that this loved one would ultimately fail?
The belief that our dreams have no basis in reality or the idea of pursuing this dream some part of their youthful ignorance and should be let go are never true. The real, honest truth is that your dreams are just are real and life-like as your current crappy job. All you have to do is put in the work to achieve your vision and man, is it work. It is downright terrifying. It requires countless lost hours of sleep and busting your ass to make it happen work. It takes a true commitment to ourselves and making those damn dreams real already.
I think this is something we have known deep down all along. We give up on our dreams because it seems easier in the moment rather than really going for it, but that is also incorrect. Our dreams aren't dead in our childhood. They will forever be in our hearts, forever haunt us. Our dreams will forever leave us feeling like something is missing or something isn't just quite right. Our hearts refuse to be silenced, no matter how much we push it down. I think deep down we are just afraid. We are so scared to make a real commitment to ourselves and our dreams because we are afraid of failing or worse success. Even with the fear and dangers of stepping out to live our dreams, aren't the best things in life a bit terrifying? The fear of committing to ourselves is something worth conquering just like our anxious feelings of really falling head over heals for someone. Don't let the fear of commitment prevent you from falling in love with your life.
If you are ready to conquer your fear of commitment to yourself and your dream, please consider my offer of one free month of life coaching. It is completely free with zero obligations to any person willing to start the work of letting go of the fears and making your life something beautiful.
And now I leave you with this:
"If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives." - Lemony Snicket